When Derek Returned to...

Winston

Photo by Jasmin Schreiber on Unsplash

ACIM LESSON 60: REVIEW: LESSONS 46-50

DAILY SUBSTACK LOVEBUG EDITION #204: SUN MAR 1, 2026

Sunday afternoon. Derek drove rental car to the park.

Hadn’t been here since. Couldn’t.

But today: something pulled Derek here.

He parked. Walked to the spot… the bench, where Poppy and Winston used to lay. Where Derek used to sit beside him. Where time moved: differently. Slowly. Present.

Derek sat in grass. Closed eyes. Felt: Winston’s absence. Still sharp.

But also felt: what Winston taught. In those final months. About being fully here even when everything’s falling apart.

Today’s lessons: all pointing back to that.

ONE AFTERNOON, NEAR THE END:

Derek remembered: the last good day with Winston.

November afternoon. Cold but sunny. Winston lying in his spot. Derek sat beside him. Poppy nearby with coffee.

Winston: couldn’t walk much by then. Arthritis. Age. Body failing. But lying there in sun, looking at Derek with those brown eyes: completely present. Completely: here.

Derek had been stressed. Work crisis. Richard’s promotion delays starting. Money tightening. Mind spinning with: everything spiraling.

And Winston: just looked at him. Calm. Still. Like: none of that matters right now. Right now is: sun, grass, us being here together.

Derek remembered asking Poppy: “How does he do that? Stay so peaceful when his body’s failing?”

Poppy smiled: “He trusts. That’s all. Just trusts he’s held.”

LESSON 46: GOD IS THE LOVE IN WHICH I FORGIVE:

Derek sat in park now. Remembering that day.

God does not forgive because He has never condemned.

Winston never condemned. Not his failing body. Not Derek for being stressed and distracted. Not anything. Just: was. Present. Accepting. Loving.

That’s: what God’s love looks like. No conditions. No “you should be different.” Just: love. As you are. Where you are.

Yet forgiveness is the means by which I will recognize my innocence.

Derek forgiving: himself. For not understanding then what Winston was showing him. For being too caught up in promotion stress to fully receive: the teaching. For taking those final weeks for granted because assumed: more time.

Not because Winston needed Derek’s perfection. Winston: already loved Derek completely. Always did. Right up until the end.

But Derek needed: to forgive himself. To see: he was doing his best. Being human. And that was: enough. For Winston. For God.

It is the reflection of God’s love on earth.

That afternoon. Winston’s eyes. His calm. His complete acceptance of: body failing, time running out, everything changing. Still: loved. Still: present. Still: teaching.

That was: God’s love. Reflected. In chocolate love lab lying in the sun. Showing Derek: this is what love is. No judgment. No fear. Just: being here. Together. Now.

Derek whispered: “I’m sorry I was so distracted that day, mate.”

Felt: Winston’s response. Not words. Just: knowing. You were exactly who you needed to be. I loved you then. Love you still.

LESSON 47: GOD IS THE STRENGTH IN WHICH I TRUST:

Derek remembered: Winston’s last walk.

Could barely stand. Poppy helped him up. Walked ten meters. Slowly. Painfully. Then: lay back down.

Derek watched. Heart breaking. Wanted to: fix it. Make it better. Do something.

But Winston: just looked at Poppy. Trusting. Completely. Like: I can’t do this alone. But I trust you’re here. That’s enough.

It is not my own strength through which I forgive.

Derek’s own strength: wasn’t enough to watch Winston decline. Wasn’t enough to accept: nothing could be fixed. Wasn’t enough to be with: love ending.

But God’s strength: was enough. The strength Winston showed. Trust even when body failing. Trust even when every step hurt. Trust: someone’s here, I’m held, it’s okay.

As I begin to see, I recognize His reflection on earth.

Winston’s trust in Poppy: reflected God’s strength. The strength that says: I can’t do this alone but I’m not alone. That’s: enough. That’s… everything.

Derek learning: same trust. Through grief. Through loss. Through: not understanding why dogs don’t live longer.

God’s strength: holding Derek. Through what Derek’s own strength couldn’t handle. Same strength: that held Winston through that last walk. Through death itself.

I forgive all things because I feel the stirring of His strength in me.

Derek forgiving: the unfairness. The too-short lives. The pain of loving beings who leave. Forgiving: not through Derek’s acceptance. Through: God’s strength. Which Winston reflected. Which says: even this, even failed promotions, even bank accounts overdrawn, even miscommunications with loved ones, even cars totaled, even death, even loss… you’re held throughout.

LESSON 48: THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR:

Derek opened eyes. Looked at park. Where Winston used to lay in one spot and hold the entire moment just by being there.

How safe the world will look to me when I can see it.

Winston saw: safe world. Even dying. Even in pain. Still: no fear. Just: trust. Trust in Poppy. Trust in love. Trust: whatever comes… I’m not alone in it.

Derek asked Poppy once, those last days: “Is he scared?”

Poppy: “No. I don’t think he knows how to be scared. He just... trusts. That I’m here. That’s all he needs.”

Everyone and everything I see will lean toward me to bless me.

That’s what Winston saw. Poppy: leaning toward him to bless. Derek visiting: leaning toward him to love. Sun warming: leaning toward him to comfort. World: not hostile. Not frightening. Just: holding him. Through everything.

What could there be to fear in a world that I have forgiven and that has forgiven me?

Winston forgave: world for his failing body. For time running out. For pain. And world: held him gently through it all. Nothing to fear in that. Just: love. Meeting death. With trust.

Derek learning: same seeing. This park. Where Winston isn’t anymore in body. But still: here in teaching. In memory. In love that doesn’t end. World leaning toward Derek: to bless. Through grief. Through remembering. Through: what Winston showed about fearlessness.

LESSON 49: GOD’S VOICE SPEAKS TO ME ALL THROUGH THE DAY:

Derek remembered: the morning. Before they took Winston to vet for last time.

Winston lying in living room. Derek sat with him. Didn’t know what to say. What to do.

Just: sat. In silence. With chocolate love. Both: knowing.

And in that silence: Derek heard something. Not voice exactly. But: knowing. Deep knowing. That Winston was: ready. At peace. Not scared. Just: trusting what comes next.

There is not a moment in which God’s voice ceases to call on my forgiveness to save me.

That morning: God’s voice calling. Through Winston’s calm. Through silence. Saying: this is okay. This is: how love looks when it’s time to let go. Not tragic. Not wrong. Just: part of the whole. Part of: love taking different form.

There is not a moment in which His voice fails to direct my thoughts, guide my actions and lead my feet.

God’s voice: led Derek to park today. To this spot. To: remember. Not to wallow. But to: see what Winston taught. About trust. About presence. About being sustained by love through death itself.

Winston’s whole life: especially those final months: was God’s voice. Speaking to Derek. Saying: this is what it looks like to trust. To be here. To love completely. To: walk steadily toward truth even when the body is failing.

I am walking steadily on toward truth.

Winston walked steadily. Right up until: couldn’t walk anymore. Then: was carried. Still: trusting. Still: walking in a different way. Toward truth. Which is: love doesn’t end. Just: changes.

Derek walking: steadily. Through grief. Through memory. Through: learning what… how… Winston taught… modeled. About being sustained even when everything hurts.

LESSON 50: I AM SUSTAINED BY THE LOVE OF GOD:

Derek sat quietly. Sun lowering. Park: getting chilly.

As I listen to God’s voice, I am sustained by His love.

Derek listening to what Winston taught. You’re held. Even when circumstances are terrible. Even when: body fails, time runs out, nothing can be fixed. Still: held. Still: sustained. Still: loved.

As I open my eyes, His love lights up the world for me to see.

Derek opened eyes. Saw: park differently now. Not place where Winston’s gone. Place where: Winston was fully present. Where Derek learned: what it means to be here. Completely here. Even for short time. Especially for short time.

As I forgive, His love reminds me that His son is sinless.

Winston: sinless. Innocent. Pure. Never did anything wrong. Just: loved. Existed. Was present. That’s: enough. That’s: everything.

And Derek: same. God seeing Derek the way: Derek saw Winston. With complete love. Complete acceptance. No judgment about: being distracted that day, not visiting enough, being imperfect friend.

Just: love. For son who did his best. Who loved dog. Who’s learning still from what chocolate love lab taught.

I am sustained by the love of God.

Not by Derek’s understanding. Not by: figuring out why dogs die too soon. Not by: handling grief perfectly.

By: God’s love. Which sustained Winston through death. Which sustains Derek through grief. Which is: always here. Always: teaching through memory. Always: holding Derek through loss.

Same love. Same sustaining. Just: different forms.

LEAVING:

Derek stood. Looked at spot where Winston used to lay.

“Thank you, mate. For teaching me how to: trust. How to be here. How to: be sustained by love even when everything’s falling apart.”

Felt: Winston. Not physically. But: present. In teaching. In memory. In: love that remains.

God is the love in which I forgive.
Winston showed him that. Love that: never condemns.

God is the strength in which I trust.
Winston lived that. Trust even when: body failing.

There is nothing to fear.
Winston proved that. Fearless right through: death.

God’s voice speaks to me all through the day.
Winston was that voice. Teaching through: presence.

I am sustained by the love of God.
Winston reflected that. Love that: doesn’t end.

Derek walked back to rental car. Cold now. Getting dark.

But carrying: what Winston gave him. What chocolate love lab taught in those final months. About being here. About trusting. About: being sustained by love that doesn’t end with bodies.

That’s: the teaching. That’s: the gift.

That’s: what remains. ✨

TODAY’S PRACTICE 💪🏼

THE FIVE IDEAS:

(46) God is the love in which I forgive (love that never condemns, only accepts)

(47) God is the strength in which I trust (trust even when circumstances failing)

(48) There is nothing to fear (world holds you gently through everything)

(49) God’s voice speaks to me all through the day (through presence, through what sustains us)

(50) I am sustained by the love of God (not by understanding but by love that remains)

JOURNAL PROMPTS 📝

💭 Who or what has shown you unconditional love/trust/presence?

💭 What are you forgiving yourself for that love’s already forgiven?

💭 Where do you need to trust God’s strength instead of your own?

WISDOM COUNCIL ✨

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”~ A.A. Milne

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