When Derek...
Woke Up Afraid
ACIM LESSON 48: THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR
DAILY SUBSTACK LOVEBUG EDITION #192: TUES FEB 17, 2026
Tuesday morning. Derek woke up and immediately remembered: yesterday he declined the freelance work. Chose to trust the still small voice. The peace underneath panic.
This morning: no peace. Just panic.
Rent due Friday. Account nearly empty. No freelance income. No plan. No confirmation. No miracle.
Just: fear.
There is nothing to fear.
Derek read the lesson. Didnāt believe it. Because there was DEFINITELY something to fear. Several things, actually. Eviction. Embarrassment. Proving everyone right who said he was being impractical.
But the lesson said: The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength.
Oh.
Derek was absolutely trusting his own strength this morning. Trusting his own ability (or inability) to solve this problem. Trusting his own planning (or lack thereof) to make rent appear. Trusting his own strength to: fix this mess heād created by listening to āpeaceā yesterday.
And trusting his own strength created: fear. Lots of it.
There is nothing to fear.
8:00am THE REGRET:
Derek at kitchen table. Coffee. Fear. Regret.
What did I do yesterday? Why did I turn down guaranteed income? Why did I trust āpeaceā over practical advice? Em was right. Marcus was right. I shouldāve taken the work.
There is nothing to fear.
But there WAS. Rent. Due. Friday. Three days.
Derekās brain: You have to figure this out. You have to fix this. You have to make money appear somehow. YOU. YOUR strength. YOUR planning. YOUR solution.
And Derekās strength: had no solution. No plan. No way to make rent appear in three days.
Fear: entirely reasonable.
There is nothing to fear.
Derek tried to believe it. Couldnāt. Because fear felt: justified. Real. Appropriate response to actual problem.
10:00am WORK (DISTRACTED):
Derek at office. Couldnāt focus. Just kept thinking: rent. Friday. Fear.
Marcus: āYou alright, mate?ā
Derek: āYeah. Fine.ā
Marcus: āYou look terrible.ā
Derek: āJust... financial stress.ā
Marcus: āTold you to take that freelance gig.ā
Derek: āYeah. You did.ā
There is nothing to fear.
Derek repeated it silently. Didnāt help. Because Marcus was RIGHT. Derek shouldāve taken the work. Shouldāve been practical. Shouldāve trusted his own ability to solve problems instead of trusting āpeace.ā
The lesson said: The awareness that there is nothing to fear shows that somewhere in your mind, though not necessarily in a place you recognize as yet, you have remembered God and let his strength take the place of your weakness.
Derek tried to find that place. The place that remembered God. The place with no fear.
Found: only fear. Everywhere. Loud. All consuming.
12:30pm RORYāS TEXT:
Rory: How are you feeling about yesterdayās decision?
Derek: Terrified. Regretful. Pretty sure I made huge mistake.
Rory: T he presence of fear is a sure sign youāre trusting your own strength.
Derek: Did you read todayās lesson?
Rory: I did. And youāre doing exactly what it describes. Youāre back to thinking YOU have to solve this. YOU have to make rent appear. YOUR strength has to figure it out.
Derek: Because it DOES. Rent doesnāt pay itself.
Rory: But yesterday you found peace in trusting something bigger. Today youāre back to trusting something smaller (you). Which creates: fear.
Derek: But the fear is REASONABLE. I have actual problem with actual deadline.
Rory: Iām not saying the situation isnāt real. Iām saying: fear shows where youāre putting your trust. Yesterday: Godās strength. Today: your own. Which one created peace? Which one created fear?
Derek: stared at phone.
She was right. Yesterday: trusting Godās strength, feeling peace. Today: trusting own strength, feeling fear.
The situation hadnāt changed. Derekās trust had.
2:00pm PRACTICE:
Derek closed office door. Sat. Closed eyes.
There is nothing to fear.
His brain: Thereās EVERYTHING to fear. Rent. Eviction. Proving everyone right. Looking like idiot who thought āpeaceā was plan.
There is nothing to fear.
But what did that MEAN? That rent would magically appear? That Derek could stop worrying? That everything would work out because he said magic words?
No. The lesson said: The instant you are willing to do this, there is indeed nothing to fear.
Willing to do what? Let Godās strength take the place of Derekās weakness.
Derekās weakness: couldnāt make rent appear. Couldnāt predict outcome. Couldnāt control situation. Couldnāt solve problem alone.
Godās strength ...Derek didnāt know what Godās strength would do. But knew: yesterday when Derek trusted it, there was peace. Today when Derek trusted himself, there was fear.
There is nothing to fear.
Not because situation changed. Because: Derek could choose again. Could remember: this isnāt all on Derek. Derekās own strength isnāt only strength available. Derekās planning isnāt only resource.
There is nothing to fear.
Derek felt: tiny shift. Not peace yet. But: less clutching. Less panic. Less: āI HAVE TO FIX THIS MYSELF.ā
More: āIām not alone in this.ā
4:00pm FEAR RETURNS:
Walking home. Fear came back. Strong. Loud. Immediate.
RENT. FRIDAY. NO PLAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Derek stopped walking. Repeated: There is nothing to fear.
YES THERE IS. Youāre about to be EVICTED.
There is nothing to fear.
Not denying rent was due. Not pretending problem didnāt exist. But: refusing to believe Derekās own strength was only strength available. Refusing to believe Derek alone had to solve this. Refusing to believe fear was: appropriate response.
The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength.
Oh. There it was again. Derek clutching. Grabbing. Trying to control. Trying to figure out. Trying to solve. With his own limited strength.
There is nothing to fear.
Derek let go. Not of responsibility. Of: the belief that Derek alone had to carry this. The belief that Derekās strength was what would save him. The belief that if Derek couldnāt figure it out, it wouldnāt get figured out.
Fear: loosened. Slightly. Not gone. But: less consuming.
EVENING - STILL NO PLAN:
Em called: āAny update?ā
Derek : āNo.ā
Em: āDerek. Friday is THREE DAYS AWAY.ā
Derek: āI know.ā
Em: āSo whatās the plan?ā
Derek: āI donāt have one.ā
Em: āThis is insane. Call about the freelance work. Tell them you changed your mind.ā
Derek: āI canāt.ā
Em: āWHY NOT?ā
Derek: āBecause... yesterday I found peace trusting something bigger than my own ability to solve this. Today Iām afraid because Iām back to trusting my own strength. And my own strength: has every reason to be afraid. But thereās another strength. Godās strength. And Iām trying to remember: that strength is available. That strength is working. That strength is: not dependent on my ability to figure this out.ā
Em: quiet. Then: āYou sound calm.ā
Derek: āIām not. Iām feckinā terrified. But Iām practicing: there is nothing to fear. Not because the situation isnāt scary. But because: my own strength isnāt only strength here.ā
Em: āI really hope youāre right.ā
Derek: āMe too.ā
NIGHT PRACTICE:
There is nothing to fear.
Derek didnāt have plan. Didnāt have solution. Didnāt have guarantee rent would get paid Friday.
But had: willingness. To let Godās strength take place of his weakness. To trust something bigger than his own ability to figure this out. To believe: there is nothing to fear, not because circumstances arenāt scary, but because Derek isnāt alone in them.
Tomorrow would be Wednesday. Rent still due Friday. Fear would probably return. Loud. Immediate. Justified.
And Derek would practice: There is nothing to fear.
Not as denial. Not as magical thinking. But as: remembering. Godās strength is here. Godās strength is working. Godās strength is: not limited by Derekās limitations.
The instant you are willing to do this, there is indeed nothing to fear.
Derek willing. Scared. But willing.
To trust Godās strength instead of his own. To remember heās not alone. To believe: there is something bigger than his ability to solve this problem. And that something: is trustworthy. Even when Derek canāt see how. Even when Derek canāt figure it out. Even when fear says: YOUāRE ALONE, YOU HAVE TO FIX THIS, YOUāRE GOING TO FAIL.
There is nothing to fear.
Starting with: the next moment fear arrives. The next time Derek starts clutching, planning, panicking. The next time Derek forgets: thereās another strength here. Godās strength. Which doesnāt depend on Derekās figuring. Which works differently than Derekās planning. Which provides in ways Derek canāt predict.
There is nothing to fear.
Because Derek: not alone. Not limited to own strength. Not responsible for solving this by himself.
Held. Guided. Provided for. By strength that isnāt his. By love that doesnāt fail. By God who: hasnāt forgotten Derek even when Derek forgets God.
There is nothing to fear.
Even when fear is reasonable. Even when fear is justified. Even when fear makes perfect sense.
There is nothing to fear. Because Godās strength is here. Now. Working. Providing. In ways Derek canāt see yet. āØ
TODAYāS PRACTICE šŖš¼
ALL DAY, REPEATEDLY: This lesson is meant to be practiced constantly. Very short. Very simple. Very frequent. Repeat: āThere is nothing to fear.ā Use it with eyes open, anytime, any situation. Strongly recommended: close eyes whenever possible, repeat slowly several times.
IMMEDIATELY WHEN DISTURBED: The instant anything disturbs your peace, use this idea. The presence of fear = sure sign youāre trusting your own strength. Saying āthere is nothing to fearā = remembering Godās strength is available.
NOT DENIAL: This isnāt pretending scary things arenāt scary. Itās remembering: youāre not facing them alone with only your own strength. Godās strength is here. That changes everything.
JOURNAL PROMPTS š
š When does fear arrive for you? What situations make you trust only your own strength?
š Whatās the difference between reasonable fear and forgetting Godās strength?
š Have you experienced the shift from trusting your own strength (fear) to trusting Godās strength (peace)?
WISDOM COUNCIL āØ
āThere is nothing to fear.ā ~ A Course in Miracles
āThe presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength.ā ~ A Course in Miracles
āThere is no pit so deep that Godās love is not deeper still.ā ~ Corrie ten Boom
āAll shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.ā ~ Julian of Norwich
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